Dennis Cheok
06/03/1989
Singapore Polytechnic - Information Communication Techonology (DICT)
City Harvest Church - N384 (AN Zone)
godfreak@gmail.com
Fav. Food: Beef Noodles
Fav. Drink: Bandung
Fav. Person: Jesus
Fav. Song: Majesty(Here I Am)[Delirious?]
Fav. Singers: BoA & Jay Chou
Fav. Bands: Fort Minor, Linkin Park & Delirious?
Dennis can Dance!
Dennis can Sing!
Dennis can Compose Songs!
Dennis can Speak Well!
Dennis is an Animal Lover!
Dennis Loves God!
What more do you expect man ? X)
Key.Of.Heart
..Growth & Multiplication
..Smooth Graduation in SP
..Enter SOT
..Quick Enlistment and Quick ORD..
gosh... things had been going so bad that i dun even know who i am.. i mean.. like people around me.. i mean like really close ones, juz seem to shut the door.. and it seems like the past experiences juz start all over again.. this world is definitely so unfair.. how often are you give the opportunities to get angry ? well.. definitely not for me.. i'm probably deprived of anger.. and i've noticed that recently, i'm starting to lose my patience on certain issues.. and its really quite hard to vent it out.. cause there's no open doors.. try picturing a scene where it was snowing at night, and your mum shut the door and leave you outside of the house.. that's how it feels like.. and all you have is juz a torn and tattered blanket and a lamp at hand.. and you have to survive the night by yourself.. make the wrong move and you're dead.. ya.. that kinda feeling.. hmmm.. i dunno why, i juz got that picture in my head.. hmmm.. ya lohz.. its always the same thing.. you always feel like there's a hope somewhere lingering in the air ? and you always want to have what we call a miracle.. ya ya.. miracle do exist.. but when you want it, it dun happen, and when you least expect it, a miracle happens.. i just want to have a comfortable life that doesn't let me worry about anything that cracks my head around.. but a headache always come by when you always give me so many stuff which i have to make a decision whether i want to stay on the path with you, or whether i want to take my own path.. cause i wanna walk your path.. but your paths has got tributaries.. and you always make me guess which path you are going to take.. and whenever i make the wrong path, i regret.. cause it wasn't the path that you chose.. and i have to walk this lonely path alone and hope to meet you again at a link.. but i was juz wondering, wad if the path you had chosen could never end up in a link that we could meet.. and that means that whatever i had sow in you had all gone down the drain.. and i definitely do not like the feeling of it.. cause i never liked wasting so much time and effort in it, and all i know, it juz didn't tingle anything.. that means whatever i'm doing is dead, and i know that its gonna cause quite a big hole in me.. its really true.. you call me, only to get certain information and give assignments.. no further than that.. and its really quite crappy to know that you dun even sense anything wrong with it.. its like you live your own life and i live my own life.. and ya.. that shouldn't be the way.. you juz gotta know that sometimes whatever i'm doing, it had been considered carefully before making that decision.. but sometimes you juz dun seem to get it, and you always react like nothing happened and it really quite saddens me.. you juz come and go.. i do like your company, but den.. this has to stop.. i've been going through this over and over again.. its like never ending.. and now i have to make another decision, whether to cut the line and let you flow in your own river, or to continue to face this humiliation.. but ya.. i oso do understand that i only see things form my own point of view.. maybe you're facing some things in life too.. and i juz dun get you, and you juz dun get me.. and that's THAT.. quite frustrated about it, cause its not the first time.. it is happening simultaneously.. and its quite irritating to a certain extent.. but maybe its oso about my expectations.. cause i always have visions of wad's going to happen next, but instead, it always happens the opposite.. and that kind of feeling juz totally feel so screwed up.. you know, like how you always screw up in big and major events, and break the vibe that everyone is feeling.. that's how i'm feeling.. Ahhh.. juz so irritating.. cause i juz dun want to fall into the same trap again.. that kind of pain is unbearable.. and it always take time to heal.. and time would be wasted.. I just thought of this idea.. why am i always walking in someone else's tributaries ? and not someone trying to walk in my lane ? why arz ? Life is just so ironic and contradicting.. that even your closest friend walk out on you and you juz suddenly feel so cold about the situation.. and you always have to take comfort all by yourself.. I always walk my life in Faith.. juz hoping to find something that could give Love.. and that's where i had the aconyms FHL.. Faith, Hope, Love.. I always have to run back to that one person and asked him to place me back on my own path.. and its really like a cycle over and over again where i step into someone else's path and thing dun turn out well, and i have to start from scratch, Point A.. it is never ending.. and its so sickening.. Why is it always so hard to comprehend ? its always when one point of your life turns out well, the other part of your life juz got screwed up.. another example which popped into my mind.. its like you juz got a promotion at work.. and when you reach home, your parents are quarreling, even mentioning about a divorce.. ya.. that's the kind of feeling man.. and its really quite irritating.. and you are like thinking when will this ever stop ? Because there are juz so many things that i have to worry about and sometimes, some problems are not even supposed to be solved by me ? why does everyone always throw everything to me.. i need a break somehow or another.. i juz feel like moving out of house, and juz be alone, cut out from all my communication and juz ya.. be alone, and live a peaceful life for a while, and not be bothered so much about relationships, family, finance and stuff.. gosh.. its quite irritating. . why can't there be someone by my side and help me out, you always think that you're helping me out, but you're not.. you're juz not wise enough.. and i juz feel that you're definitely not in my league.. but..
The Feeling Of Losing It Away Seem So Unbearable.. But The Chance Of Holding On Seems So Slim.. And All I Can Do Is To Watch You Go By..
Maybe i should be like you.. someone with less words and more focus in the things that you do.. and you do seem to be quite strict.. and maybe i should be a person like that too.. hmmm.. juz wondering.. :__)
Friday, March 03, 2006
-12:25 pm
hmmm... haha.. you guys must be wondering where mr Dennis has gone to huh.. so long never blog.. well.. i've been so busy with NOTHING.. haha.. i had been going out with my cgm.. Fellowship with them.. lol.. then recently oso went to partyworld with yang sheng and ernest.. haha.. it was fun lahz.. lol.. we sang chinese new year song which was super hilarious.. haha.. i think yang sheng recorded me singing freestyle.. haha.. i listen to the music then anyhow whack.. haha.. but not bad ok.. but ya.. so much for the good stuff.. haha.. but there's so many things inside me that i wanna say.. But i really do not know where should i start from.. I'm really caught off-guard of everything surrounding me.. it juz banged... everything juz came by.. and seriously speaking, i'm really shocked by wad's happening to things around me.. hmmm..
First and foremost.. its really gonna be my posting to Singapore Poly.. I've been posted to Information Communication Technology.. I was so disappointed that i could not even enter Business.. gosh.. and then my JPSAE application oso wasn't successful.. i've put so much hope on it, but then ya.. it was so disappointing.. AHHHHH !!! No tourism for me.. and worse.. NO BUSINESS even still.. why... tp cheat my feelings.. call me for so many interviews den nv accept me.. haha.. think i so free arz ? lolx.. but never mind... i think maybe its all part of moving me into my upward calling.. haha.. :)
Secondly, gosh.. you guys gotta pray for my dad.. He went for a medical check-up yesterday and it was scanned that he had something in his stomach.. But next week, he need to go back to the clinic to check whether it is an ulcer, a growth or something.. so please pray for my dad k ? I'm like super worried.. but of course no one really sees it in the family.. haha.. but dun worry mom ! Dennis will stand tall in the family.. When everyone says no hope, Dennis will say "There is a still a beautiful path ahead of this family".. haha.. so dun worry too much mom ! :)
Thirdly, haha.. its really about me playing guitar during cell groups.. gosh.. i've been screwing up and breaking the atmosphere whenever i play praise.. and its really quite discouraging.. haha.. you should have seen my leader's face everytime i screw up.. haha.. i know it, but then i always choose not to look at her.. lol.. and i'll juz continue playing.. and later when we evaluate the cell group, then i was like oh no.. every week's praise cannot make it.. i mean, this shouldn't be the way.. its impossible that i screw up every single time.. sometimes juz wanna feel like breaking down and give it all up man.. but then.. ya.. my dream of playing in cell group was suddenly like shattered.. cause if every part of the cell group is good and only praise wasn't good, man.. i really do get put down.. lol.. vut ya.. Dennis always stand strong under every circumstances.. :)
But in some way, i still do feel excited about school.. cause i think its really going to be different lahz.. and i think i quite accept my fate already lahz.. haha.. cause all the other courses are like so difficult to enter lahz.. lol.. i oso dunno whether i should appeal a not.. haha.. what do you think ? but i oso lazy to go down to the institution lohz.. haha.. i never even stepped in SP before.. oso dunno how it looks like .. haha.. man.. ok lahz.. i oso dun wanna think so much lahz.. lol..
take care guys.. hey if you guys happen to see my post.. tag k ? Esp those taken their O's in 2005.. tell me which institute and which course you enter lehz.. haha.. =)
